We must use time creatively. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Drawing upon my experience as a therapist and researcher, I offer talks and consultation on the following themes:
Give Me Space! -- Adolescence & Individuation:
Many teens today find themselves questioning the legitimacy of what their parents, teachers, and mainstream media tell them is meaningful and relevant to their lives, engaging in indiscriminate sexual activity, illicit substance use, and other self-injurious or acting out behaviors at unprecedented rates and ever younger ages. While such alienation may sound familiar to Baby Boomer parents, today's teenagers face unique contemporary challenges in the realms of peer pressure, societal expectations, and cultural disenchantment. San Francisco Zen Center founder Suzuki Roshi liked to say in regards to meditation, “To control your cow, give it a bigger pasture!” This counsel can also serve as a potent reminder of the importance of entrusting our youth with both directive guidance and spacious boundaries. While the teenage years may entail inevitable angst and confusion, they can also be approached as a potent rite of passage teeming with energy for enhanced inquiry and independence.
Open To Not Knowing -- Elders & Conscious Aging:
My interest in working with elders focuses upon the therapeutic potential of humanistic and transpersonal approaches to working with aging and dementia. Many elders, with or without symptoms of forgetfulness, experience a pronounced disengagement from the earlier stages of their life, in which rewarding feelings of physical and social efficacy are often replaced by a growing sense of helplessness, loneliness, despair, and isolation. The standard medical model of care relies largely upon medication and dismissive and routinized behavioral interventions to ameliorate symptoms related to aging and dementia. While often helpful in alleviating momentary distress, such interventions may not address deeper levels of meaning and being experienced by individuals undergoing such complex and challenging developmental processes. Humanistic and transpersonal perspectives and interventions invite the possibility that our loved ones’ progressive departure from “consensus reality” may be imbued with unique meaning and relevance to the human journey, a transitional experience of novelty as well as loss. Such a radical reframe of this mysterious passage invites us to join our elders in the possibility of enhanced wonder, relaxation, freedom, and potential wisdom in progressive states of not knowing.
Secure Non-Attachment -- Bridging Attachment Theory & Buddhist Psychology:
Many long-term meditators find themselves still yearning for deeper intimacy in relationship, while many people in long-term relationships find themselves desiring more personal space in which to appreciate their interdependence with others. While contemporary psychological studies highlight the importance of “secure attachment” in thriving relationships, Buddhist teachings invite us to investigate the wisdom of “non-attachment.” How do we make sense of this intriguing paradox? Drawing upon research from both the psychological field of attachment theory and the Buddhist emphasis upon the benefits of healthy detachment, I use the phrase “secure non-attachment” to refer to the embodied integration of psychological and spiritual experience. In fully inhabiting our physical, emotional and relational dimensions, we come to recognize qualities of being that transcend our conditioned experience. Described in Chinese Taosim as cultivating an attitude of "cheerful indifference" that is rooted in deep compassion and wisdom, we can begin to appreciate the counsel of psychologist Jack Engler: "You've got to be somebody before you can be nobody!"
Give Me Space! -- Adolescence & Individuation:
Many teens today find themselves questioning the legitimacy of what their parents, teachers, and mainstream media tell them is meaningful and relevant to their lives, engaging in indiscriminate sexual activity, illicit substance use, and other self-injurious or acting out behaviors at unprecedented rates and ever younger ages. While such alienation may sound familiar to Baby Boomer parents, today's teenagers face unique contemporary challenges in the realms of peer pressure, societal expectations, and cultural disenchantment. San Francisco Zen Center founder Suzuki Roshi liked to say in regards to meditation, “To control your cow, give it a bigger pasture!” This counsel can also serve as a potent reminder of the importance of entrusting our youth with both directive guidance and spacious boundaries. While the teenage years may entail inevitable angst and confusion, they can also be approached as a potent rite of passage teeming with energy for enhanced inquiry and independence.
Open To Not Knowing -- Elders & Conscious Aging:
My interest in working with elders focuses upon the therapeutic potential of humanistic and transpersonal approaches to working with aging and dementia. Many elders, with or without symptoms of forgetfulness, experience a pronounced disengagement from the earlier stages of their life, in which rewarding feelings of physical and social efficacy are often replaced by a growing sense of helplessness, loneliness, despair, and isolation. The standard medical model of care relies largely upon medication and dismissive and routinized behavioral interventions to ameliorate symptoms related to aging and dementia. While often helpful in alleviating momentary distress, such interventions may not address deeper levels of meaning and being experienced by individuals undergoing such complex and challenging developmental processes. Humanistic and transpersonal perspectives and interventions invite the possibility that our loved ones’ progressive departure from “consensus reality” may be imbued with unique meaning and relevance to the human journey, a transitional experience of novelty as well as loss. Such a radical reframe of this mysterious passage invites us to join our elders in the possibility of enhanced wonder, relaxation, freedom, and potential wisdom in progressive states of not knowing.
Secure Non-Attachment -- Bridging Attachment Theory & Buddhist Psychology:
Many long-term meditators find themselves still yearning for deeper intimacy in relationship, while many people in long-term relationships find themselves desiring more personal space in which to appreciate their interdependence with others. While contemporary psychological studies highlight the importance of “secure attachment” in thriving relationships, Buddhist teachings invite us to investigate the wisdom of “non-attachment.” How do we make sense of this intriguing paradox? Drawing upon research from both the psychological field of attachment theory and the Buddhist emphasis upon the benefits of healthy detachment, I use the phrase “secure non-attachment” to refer to the embodied integration of psychological and spiritual experience. In fully inhabiting our physical, emotional and relational dimensions, we come to recognize qualities of being that transcend our conditioned experience. Described in Chinese Taosim as cultivating an attitude of "cheerful indifference" that is rooted in deep compassion and wisdom, we can begin to appreciate the counsel of psychologist Jack Engler: "You've got to be somebody before you can be nobody!"
Copyright © 2011 · Matt Spalding
